Take the holiday/Christmas ornaments to the next level – this is the most hipster thing that exists right now. It is so obscure that no one can get it most of the time – literally because company making this is constantly running out of them due to high demand. Just pray that you get these beard baubles first so you can wear them while they are not yet mainstream. You need to have an awesome beard to wear these but as a hipster that wont be a problem for you. Once too many people have them and it is not obscure enough for you then simply give them to your grandpa, who doesn’t really follow these latest trends in beard cultivation. You can even put them on your dog!