We’re all aware that Valentine’s is a completely fictional holiday invented by the greeting card, florist and chocolatier illuminati, but just because it’s true doesn’t make wearing a tin-foil hat and boycotting sentiments of affection any more romantic! Instead, why not express your feelings without the sentimental bullsh*t with a sexy but tongue-in-cheek card from Calligraphuck? (real cards don’t have words smudged!) The London-based stationers offer a variety of greetings which curse like a sailor but dress like a gentleman, presented in ornate hand-lettering and letterpressed deeply onto lush but eco-friendly cardstock. Use the promo code SWEETASS to get 15% off all cards until February 1st.